Sukagawa Torch Festival - Taimatsu Akashi


How’s this for a tourist attraction idea, maybe for somewhere kinda off the map, like Adelaide or Newcastle, or somewhere less boring, like Temora…

1. On a Saturday once a year, block off the main road to traffic.

2. Lie several giant, inflammable torches made of wood, straw, rope and reeds down in the main street. (Make sure they are suitably large and heavy – say 10-16m long, 1-2m in diameter and oh, 1-3 tonnes in weight.)

3.
a) Recruit 40-odd people (including foreigners if possible) to carry each torch 4km to the top of a hill.

b) Dress these people in silly headbands or do rags and make them wear bells around their necks and waists.

4. Show them the ridiculous size of the torches they are required to carry. Let them feel the weight of the torch on their shoulders. By now, you will need to give them alcohol (if they haven’t already started drinking of their own accord). Not too much, just 2-3 glasses of sake (or equivalent local moonshine) or so – they do have to carry that bulky torch through the streets of your town, after all, and you don’t want 3 tonnes of torch going through someone’s front window, do you?

5. Assemble your bearers and have them start their journey. At this point, it may also start to rain and become increasingly cold.

6. Give them a rest stop after a kilometre or so. And more sake. Repeat as necessary.

7. Due to the rain, the path to the top of the hill may have become slippery and treacherous. Have your bearers walk up this path regardless.

8. Allow them an hour or so to erect the torch. As the torch approaches 45 degrees from horizontal, prop it up with several flimsy ladders while your bearers rest under it for shelter from the rain.

9. After approximately an hour, the torch will be upright. It may also be pissing down with rain.

10. Give the primary school aged children of the town cauldrons of flaming coals to carry up the hill – just because it looks good and they are expendable.

11. Light the torches. Drink more sake. Watch the senseless flaming destruction. Try to avoid being burned by falling ash, sparks and bits of torch. A good time is had by all (providing that serious injuries and casualties are somehow avoided).

Hey presto, your town is on the map! Repeat yearly, or more often if necessary.