The Armpit of Japan
I awoke this morning, expecting to find that it had cooled down overnight, but no, it definitely hadn’t. Not only was it warm, but there wasn’t a whisper of a breeze, and a weird, hazy fog of humidity had settled over Shirakawa. The feeling was much like I imagine it would be to curl up and go to sleep in someone’s sweaty armpit. And thanks to my laziness when it comes to washing up, the smell was similar.
Nevertheless, I get dressed and get in the car to go to school. The airconditioned car is such a relief. I definitely do not envy those ALTs who have to cycle to work every day. Global warming? Huh? Inside the car its as cool as ever.
At work, I unfortunately have to step out of the car and go inside. It’s hot. There is no aircon and not even any fans. In that wonderful way of stating the obvious that the Japanese have mastered, everybody is telling me how hot it is, as if I am unable to detect the ambient temperature. “Jimejime ne~!” (It’s so humid!). And then they take it a step further. I glance down at my shirt and realise that I am a sweaty mess. And its stuck to my back. “In 3-2-…”, I think to myself, “Damien-sensei, you have sweatmarks!”. This from one of my teaching colleagues. “Yes”, I say, wondering if that is the correct response. “Its very hot today”, I observe. This is met with a chorus of approving noises around the staffroom.
Despite their astute observances regarding the weather, not one of my colleagues is sporting a single drop of sweat on their brow. Is Japan now so advanced that all people have now been replaced with even harder working, non-sweating robots? Am I the only human in the place? Or are the Japanese so good at maintaining their composure and dignity that they can will themselves not to sweat?

Japan’s Four Seasons
As I have no doubt mentioned before, Japanese people are incredibly fond of telling anyone who’ll listen that Japan has four seasons. Apparently there is some kind of training system that not only ensures that the Japanese know how many of these seasons there are (“four”), but also what flowers will be blooming, what fruit and vegetables will be in season and other associated “facts”, apparently known to all Japanese. (Case in point. A student writes a description of a Japanese object for me. This is used in summer to keep us cool. It is made from metal and makes a noise. “An air conditioner.” Wrong. “A fan.” Boo. “A refrigerator?” Nope. It turns out that the answer is a wind chime. I asked this little riddle of a Japanese friend, and sure enough, he answers “correctly”. To my, Western, way of thinking, surely an air conditioner is far better at keeping people cool than a wind chime.) As a result their wealth of seasonal knowledge and curiosity about the outside world, Japanese people frequently ask foreigners how many seasons their home country has. Beware of the silly answer: “Two” “What are they?” “Er… Sprummer and Autumnter” Not only will this result in confusion, but the fact that your answer was intended as a joke will require explanation, and cause your Japanese friend to wonder why anyone would joke about something as serious as the seasons. Quite why the Japanese believe they are alone in having four seasons is beyond me. Sure, Japan does have more distinct seasons than say Sydney or LA, let alone Singapore (I always wonder why Singapore has a weather forecast – its 32C every day) but lots of other places have equally distinct seasons. Minnesota, I’m looking at you. Now we are in the worst of the four. Summer. Much as I bitch about the cold in winter, the heat and humidity of summer is definitely worse. Unhappily Japanese summer coincides with the rainy season (a fifth season?). Which means: a) its hot b) its raining c) it has just rained or is about to rain again. And all of that means that I’m sweating. A lot. At school, while all the other teachers, and students, look cool and dry, I look like I have taken a shower with my shirt on (I haven’t). At night, fans and aircon provide some relief. But the thought of having to step out into the humid armpit that is Shirakawa in the summer is enough to distract one from sleep. That and the little pools of sweat that I occasionally roll over into. Perhaps I should get a wind chime…

NAKED BY POPULAR DEMAND!

Due to popular demand, here is some nakedness!

CHRISSO in J-land Yes, it sounds like the title of a fairy tale. And while it was good to catch up, I'm gonna spoil the ending by saying that we don't end up living happily ever after. He is my brother after all and that would just be weird and creepy. So we hung out in Tokyo, and then he made it up to Shirakawa, "Not as shit as you make out, Dame". High praise indeed! Please enjoy the gratuitous mum shots!

Nothing to do with Japan, but just awesome!

Spring Has Come!

For some reason, this phrase is known by almost all Japanese, regardless of how little English they actually speak. I suppose it's one of those phrases, like "zis iz a pen" that gets stuck in people's heads, where it gets let out from time to time, in an annoying way.

Anyway, Spring IS here, and I was hoping that by March, I'd be wandering around in a t-shirt, blinking at the bright orange ball in the sky that I wouldn't have seen for the past few months. And though I have been wearing a t-shirt (minus the four layers that go on top of it during winter), because it has been a heady 15C, there hasn't been that much sun. Blame the Chinese. Which is exactly what the Japanese do. There are weather reports that tell of "yellow sand" from China, that blows into Japan and blocks out the sun. But whatever, it is becoming warmer, and I've finally had to hang up the snowboard.

Speaking of snowboarding, during those two hour drives each Saturday morning, I spotted this.
My mother thinks that "Legacy" is a stupid name for a car, so I can't imagine what she'd think about the "Dump". I guess if I'd known that I could get a dump instead of a legacy, then I may have reconsidered. Who wouldn't wanna say, when asked, that they're "driving a `98 Dump?" I guess it's to be expected though. Given that there are already the following gems:

• - Mitsubishi Dingo
  
• - Mitsubishi Toppo BJ
  
• - Mazda Bongo Friendee
  
• - Daihatsu Naked
  
• - Daihatsu Wit (which I mistakenly read as "Wilt" – whatever, it's still a stupid name)
  
• - Honda Dunk (and Dunk Turbo)
  
• - Honda Today Humming
  
• - Toyota Windy
  
• - Toyota Noah (What Jesus would drive? Suitable for monsoons?)
  
• - Toyota Mark II Blit
  
• - Nissan Homy (A large van – possibly big enough to live in…home, homey, homy?)
  
• - Suzuki Lapin (French for "rabbit" – adds a certain je ne sais quoi, no?)

Anyway, the arrival of March means that it's graduation time for the ninth graders. Graduation i

s a very serious occasion in Japan. The students spent at least two days 

rehearsing for it, mainly practicing how to walk.

 And bow. It's incredibly militaristic, and I guess the boys' Prussian soldier style school uniforms and the girls' sailor suits add to the effect. You can see some photos of Liz and I holding our own, somewhat less formal graduation in front of the castle.
The thing I find most creepy about graduation is the way that the students can be so eerily silent. You might think that Japanese students are quiet and obedient all the time anyway, but I can assure you this is definitely not the case. During the ceremony, you could almost hear a pin drop. The graduating students march in, down the red carpet, sit and stand 

as one, and bow like they are machines. It kinda freaks me out, and the precision of the whole thing has to be seen to be believed.
After the whole ceremony, the headmaster praised all the students and staff for finishing at precisely 11:50am. Being on time is a highly valued quality for the Japanese.Anyway, seeing as I had my last classes with the graduating students, they wrote some messages to me, which was nice. Here is a selection.

On the front was written, "You are my sunshine"...

"Oh! You are so cool. You are my best friend ever!"

"You are nice face and nice body."

"NICE BOY!!"

"Thank you for teachingme English. I have seen you in Tokyo. Your face is beautiful! Finally, thank you so much!"

Onsen!

These are some onsens that I have been to lately.

Shohaku
This one is in an amazing ryokan (traditional-style inn) that the lovely Anne took me to. The pictures don't do it justice really, and it was snowing outside when I went. Great view of the river with snow coming down. And after snowboarding too!